The ultra-woke nursery rhyme book that sees the three little pigs go shopping instead of the market

Parents are being asked to ditch traditional nursery rhymes for an ultra-woke modernisation that sees pigs go ‘shopping’ instead of the ‘market’ and sheep refuse to give their ‘wool’ because ‘it’s not cool’.

Animal rights group PETA has claimed the original ballads encourage unfair attitudes towards animals and have been given a ‘much-needed makeover to replace racist, sexist, and otherwise insensitive language’. 

Baa, Baa, Black Sheep, which parents and teachers sing to children, traditionally starts ‘Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool?’

But in a new version the sheep explains it’s ‘not cool’ to steal wool and refuses to provide any for the ‘pastor’, dame or little boy who lives down the lane.

Meanwhile, the line in Little Miss Muffet which tells of a girl being ‘frightened away’…